Tapping into your softness

Hello dear you, I'd like to write to you today about tapping into the softer sides of your beautiful being. My nature coaching clients and yoga students regularly tell me they choose me specifically because of my softness. How they love it when I gently invite and remind them to connect to the softer, warmer sides within themselves. To be honest, I didn't give it much thought in the beginning, but since more and more people come to me for this very reason I can't help but wonder; are people ashamed of softness? Or have they forgotten the incredible strength and courage that lies at the very base of it? If so, it's time for a little (soft) reminder of the deep and beautiful effect that softness has on your body and soul...

 

Lets go back to the beginning

You might have felt the odd one out for as long as you can remember. Or you've been told countless times since you were just a little kid that you are "too kind". Perhaps, during the course of your life, your open, kind heart has been misused, trampled on or damaged just once too often and you realised it was so much more comfortable to just put a giant lid on that soft side of your being, making sure NO ONE would see the vulnerable, sweet you - apart from the very occasional chosen few.

 

Fast forward to the future

This can work for a while, but then over time, it becomes harder and harder to tap into your own softness. Let alone showing softness to someone who needs it. We shut down and unfortunately this can make us cold and completely out of tune with our feelings. This vicious cycle creates so much harshness and loneliness in our world. But our world, our beautiful planet is literally CRYING OUT for more softness. We are in desperate need of kinder people. All the action oriented, result driven, growth promoting, target minded people need to be balanced by more nurturing, wise, gentle and compassionate beings. 

 

When shit hits the fan - what do you need?

Just think about it for a second. When you or someone you know is dealing with a life altering phase such as a burnout, an illness, a loss (in every shape or form), a separation, a crisis...what do you think is needed to get through it? Is it more things? Or stronger ambitions? Is it a quick pill or a quick fix that is needed? Is it the overbearing, uber critical impossible to please parent or narcissistic partner that is going to get you out of the mud? Or your over achieving, perfectionist critical self? Nu uh...I didn't think so. 

 

Sprinkle that stuff...

Enter BIG HEART into the story. Big heart knows no judgement, knows no comparison, holds no grudges, is forgiving and is receptive and open and INCREDIBLY KIND. Basically picture BIG HEART as the voice inside of you (believe me, it is still somewhere there) that speaks to you in the softest, kindest and most loving way you can imagine. Just like you would to an innocent child or your very best friend in life or a pet that you love unconditionally. How does it feel when you allow BIG HEART to take the stage? How would BIG HEART treat you in your darkest hour? What would that make you say to yourself? And how would that make you feel inside of your body? I can almost hear you letting out a big releasing, relaxing exhale. It is the kind of exhale I hear when I invite clients or students into this state of mind. And in my opinion it's one of the most beautiful things to witness. To sprinkle yourself with this kind of soft love is not for pussies though (pardon my french). 

 

The perfect mix

Tapping into softness takes courage. Did you know courage stems from the French word 'choeur'? Meaning heart? Courage was considered a virtue that made us surmount the insurmountable, leading from our hearts' conviction. Now being able to bring our softer sides to the forefront takes tremendous amounts of courage. Why you ask? Because it friggin' hurts like hell when you're brave enough to be kind and live from your heart when you have to deal with a sometimes cruel and harsh reality!!! Because life simply isn't always fair. And terrible things happen. And some things cannot be fixed. But then to be able to heal your wounds, and let BIG HEART take the stage again and face the world with your beautiful smile and kindness and compassion? Wowie, that is not weakness my friends, that is STRENGTH. Tapping into your softness is strong, because it is the braver choice to make. It would be so much easier to snare back at that nasty colleague or waitress or demanding boss. It's so more challenging to sprinkle them or yourself with BIG HEART. But the reward is incredibly worth it...

 

You is kind, you is gooood, you is important

Because at the end of the day, when you go back to your loved ones, your kids, your pets, your friends, your home or your community - with all of that softness intact - you experience more peace, less physical tension, increased healing and recovery, better sleep, more wellbeing, gratitude and joy than if you wouldn't. In that sense it's simple really. When it's time to lay your head to rest on your pillow at night and you can tell yourself that 'you is kind, you is good, you is important', then all the rest vanishes like 'poof' in the air. It doesn't matter darling. Them nasty narguts don't matter. Sprinkle yourself with your BIG HEART and do it all over again tomorrow. This is how we become resilient. This is how we build character. This is how we bring our light into the world. And remember, the world needs our light. It needs it so badly. So, my dearest readers, can you let it shine? 

 

10 years ago I would be ashamed of this. Now I am actually quite proud

Years ago I hated it when people told me I was kind and I often apologised for it or hid my softness. I was struggling so much with the harshness of the world and thought this world was no place for someone like me. Yet, here I am today. Having learnt that my softness is my gift. And I am proud of it. Brave enough to write this blog. And so grateful, for you, my clients and students who let me lead from a place of softness. 

 

Your turn

So if you feel like creating more space for softness in your life, then I am so excited to bring your attention to my 3 day course designed exactly for this purpose. In nature with a small group of 4 people I will guide you during these 3 days through nature coaching techniques, yoga, healthy food and lots of soft practices to this part of yourself. I deliberately offer this within an intimate setting of 4 people only and the location is unique as we will be in the beautiful National Park het Twiske and in our very own super cool Camper Van! Who said soft wasn't cool! Registration is open and check out the details (in Dutch) here https://www.dailynature.nl/agenda/

 

Places are limited so get in touch if you are interested or have questions. And I also welcome you to join one of my restorative yoga classes or my upcoming group walk ofcourse. 

 

With love and softness,